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Sexual Assault Survivor Services

Responding to Disclosure

Responding to Disclosure: Supporting Survivors
The response to disclosure matters. A supportive response can promote healing, while a negative response can increase harm and silence others. A supportive response can be a critical step toward healing and safety. Belief offers immediate empathy and trust which helps break the silence, reduce harm, and interrupt cycles of violence.

What to say if someone discloses to you:

  • I’m sorry this happened
  • Thank you for telling me.
  • I believe you.
  • This isn’t your fault.
  • I’m here with you.
  • How can I support you right now?
  • It’s ok to cry, be hurt, be upset, and not understand.
  • You get to decide what happens next.
  • There are a lot of people who are willing to support and help you through this.

What to NOT to say if someone discloses to you:

  • Why didn’t you…?
  • Are you sure?
  • What were you wearing?” or other questions that imply blame
  • You should have…
  • I experienced violence too and I... This is about them.
  • Try to move on/forget about it.
  • Don’t tell anyone else about this.
  • That doesn’t sound that serious.
  • You need to calm down. You’re overreacting.