Warning Signs

Warning signs are behaviors that may indicate someone is not respecting another person's boundaries or autonomy. While one behavior alone does not necessarily mean someone will commit sexual violence, recognizing patterns of unhealthy or controlling behavior can help you make informed decisions and support others.

If a situation or person's behavior makes you uncomfortable, it's okay to leave, ask for help, or check in with a friend. You do not need proof that something is wrong to prioritize your well-being.

Boundary Violations
Healthy relationships respect personal boundaries. Warning signs include:
• Ignoring or dismissing someone's "no"
• Continuing to pressure someone after they have declined
• Touching someone without permission
• Repeatedly pushing physical or emotional boundaries

Coercion and Pressure
Consent cannot be freely given when someone feels pressured.

Examples include:
• Guilt-tripping someone into sexual activity
• Saying things like, "If you loved me, you would."
• Repeatedly asking after someone has already said no
• Using threats, manipulation, or emotional pressure to get what they want

Controlling Behavior
Control can be a sign of an unhealthy or abusive relationship.

Watch for behaviors such as
• Wanting to know where someone is at all times
• Isolating someone from friends or family
• Monitoring social media, texts, or phone activity
• Making decisions for someone without their input
• Extreme jealousy or possessiveness

Disrespect for Consent
People who dismiss or minimize the importance of consent may also disregard boundaries.

Examples include:
• Joking about sexual assault or consent
• Believing someone "owes" them sexual acts
• Assuming clothing, flirting, or dating equals consent
• Refusing to accept that consent can be withdrawn

Using Alcohol or Drugs to Gain Access
Alcohol and drugs can impair a person's ability to make decisions or give consent.

Warning signs include:
• Encouraging excessive drinking
• Trying to get someone intoxicated
• Isolating an intoxicated person from friends
• Taking advantage of someone who is impaired

Manipulation and Gaslighting
Manipulation can make someone question their own feelings or experiences

Examples include:
• Twisting conversations to avoid responsibility
• Making someone feel guilty for setting boundaries
• Denying things that happened or blaming the other person
• Making someone doubt their own memory or judgment

Lack of Respect for Others
Patterns of disrespect may extend to intimate relationships.

Examples include:
• Frequently insulting or belittling others
• Ignoring other people's comfort levels
• Showing aggression when they don't get their way
• Treating people as objects rather than equals

Many people display occasional poor judgment or immaturity, but patterns of coercion, control, manipulation, or disregard boundaries are important warning signs. Healthy relationships are built on respect, communication, and mutual consent, not pressure or control.